


Sleepless Nights

by Max_Beta



Category: The Matrix (Movies)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:42:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28306971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Max_Beta/pseuds/Max_Beta
Summary: Neo has a little talk with Tank about his doubts and anxieties. A secret Santa present for you know who <3
Relationships: Thomas Anderson | Neo/Tank
Kudos: 9





	Sleepless Nights

Neo remembered the long nights he spent bathed in the green glow of his computer screen, staving off doubts and fears that he could not control. But even now, when all of his burning questions had been answered, something kept him up, staring up at the rusting ceiling. This late at night, though he had no indication of time aside from the ship's clock, it all felt so much less real. The darkness had enveloped him, isolated him in a cocoon of his own thoughts. Disconnection. That was the name of this sensation. 

With a faint yawn, Neo rolled out of his bed, cautiously opening the heavy door that lead outside of his quarters. Dragging his feet against the cold metal floor, he found himself wandering towards the main chamber, the operator's room. Perhaps he could find solace in the flickering light, the same way he did when he was still blissfully ignorant. More than the humming of the ship's life support systems, he could hear the rapid fire clicking of keys coming from the evidently occupied chair in front of the displays. 

"Hey Neo, didn't see you there. Long night?"

A somewhat exhausted, yet still warm and cheerful voice called out to him. 

"How did you know it was me?"

Neo rested his hands on the worn fabric of one of the chairs that surrounded the center of the room in a ring formation. 

"Trinity told me she's heard you shuffling around your room late at night."

"Trinity, huh..."

He looked down, embarrassed. 

"Yeah. I uh, have trouble sleeping. Hard to shake the habit."

"Don't worry about it, most of the folks who've just woken up just can't seem to accept that they have to go back to sleep eventually. If you have time to kill, feel free to spend it here."

He awkwardly made his way to the console, craning his neck to see what Tank was working on. 

"Oh, this? I'm just touching up Mouse's Agent training program a bit. He's got talent, but you can see where he was lazy and forgot to patch out a few bugs. Here, and here."

Tank pointed at the screen in a couple of places. Neo blinked. He still hadn't fully grasped the language of the Matrix yet, even when it was compressed to only the most essential information and slowed down massively for human eyes to see. He nodded sagely, and leaned back to let him continue working uninterrupted. 

"It takes a while for you to read it on the fly. If you're anything like Morpheus said, you'll be able to work wonders with this baby once you're ready," he said, gently patting the console. 

"That's what everyone keeps telling me," Neo shrugged in disbelief. "I'm supposed to work miracles. But right now, I'm just..."

"Just what?"

Tank let his gaze drift from the many keyboards he was typing on, to Neo's face. His soft features were lined with worry, tinged with a strange kind of sadness. The sadness of having to carry the world on your shoulders, he supposed.

"Is it wrong that I don't know what I'm doing?"

"You're not the only one who's had to learn the ropes."

"Yeah, but, things are different now. Maybe my point is... I can't see why everyone has so much faith in me when I haven't done anything yet."

Tank leaned in closer. 

"Neo, I've known you for a bit, so I'm gonna share a little secret with you."

"What?"

"The ship, this crew, none of it runs on just amino acids and electricity and fuel. The glue that holds all of it together is faith. As the operator, I gotta have faith that every member of this crew does their job so we complete the mission and don't get the squiddies on our ass. And the rest of them rely on me to coordinate jacking them in, guiding them, and giving them an exit whenever they need it. I don't even know what the Matrix is like from the inside, and I never will, but I did my best to understand it because I knew there were good people out here who needed an operator they could rely on. We trust in each other because we need that if we're going to beat them."

Neo paused, reflecting on Tank's words for a moment.

"You all seem like family to each other."

"We kind of are," the curly haired man laughed, rubbing the back of his head.   
"Apoc and Switch are almost as much brother and sister to me as Dozer is, though obviously we didn't grow up with each other. Speaking of which, he got me a new batch of his brew. I can share if you want some."

Neo nodded gratefully, and even pretended not to cough when he raised the mug up to his lips, the liquid burning his throat.

"Good stuff, really makes you feel alive," Tank grinned as he downed the whole thing. 

"Thanks for the drink," Neo said sheepishly. "And the company. Late at night, sometimes I still have trouble telling what's real and what isn't. This, uh... This helps."

"Listen here," Tank held up one of his hands, firmly placing the palm against his chest, then moving it to his own. 

"You feel that? Genuine flesh and blood. You're not getting any more real than this."

His chest was warm, fairly muscular but still a little soft. A gentle, steady heartbeat could be felt through his ribcage. Neo felt all of the heat in his body rush towards his cheeks, but didn't pull away. He must have been frozen there for a few seconds, unmoving, because in the distance, he heard the concerned voice of Tank asking if he was alright. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

He quietly pulled his hand away. 

"Sorry, I'm used to being touchy with the crew. Forgot that kind of thing might make you uncomfortable."

"No, I wasn't uncomfortable, I was just..."

Tank squinted at his counterpart, scanning his expression for... Oh. That wasn't something he'd entirely expected. Yet with the shy manner Neo acted around certain other members of the crew, particularly Morpheus, he supposed it wasn't too surprising either.

"Hey. It's okay, you don't have to feel ashamed."

He gently rubbed his knuckles. 

"I'll probably be wrapping up my work for the night. If you're still having trouble sleeping alone, you know where my quarters are. Just shake me if you need anything."

"I will, but I think I'm good for tonight."

Neo's touch lingered on his hand, not particularly wanting to part but knowing it eventually must happen. 

"Hey, Tank?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad to have you as my operator."


End file.
